BY ELLIE PARKER
It was only three weeks ago that I was curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out until they were red and raw. My relationship had literally just crumbled before me, and all I could think about was how doomed I was. Single at the ‘mature’ age of 20… life was over!
I COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG! Life is so incredible, and sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to see just how blessed we really are. It is not until you have looked your worst nightmare in the eyes, and realised that it is truly a blessing in disguise. These last few weeks have had their ups and downs, but I can honestly say that I have rediscovered myself.
I’d truly forgotten how much I appreciated ‘me-time’, and have started really living my life to the fullest. Never again will I fall into the open arms of self-pity, no matter how tempting and comforting they may be. It’s so easy to get caught in the vicious cycle of self-loathing, and it’s even easier just to stay there.
You begin to forget the positives in your life, and only focus on the negatives. You’re constantly surrounded by thoughts of what your ex is doing, and become obsessed with the very thought of them talking to anyone else but you. This is where our problem lays my friends – stop thinking about them! I know this is so much easier said than done, but I promise you it works.
The first step you need to take is to completely and utterly delete them out of your life. It may seem difficult, or immature, but ridding yourself from them on every form of social media is the first step into getting over them. You cannot be friends with your ex-partner straight away, it’s just not possible!
I remember in high school, I had one teacher who constantly chanted “Choose your attitude”. At the time, it made no sense to me. If I woke up in a bad mood, then that was it… I’d be in a crappy mood for the rest of the day!
CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. I cannot emphasise this enough. If you wake up every morning with a smile on your face, then your day will be fantastic! Focus on the positives in your life, and forget the rest. Again, this is easier said than done, but I promise you can do it!
So why is your break-up the best thing that has ever happened to you?! You’ve been given a second chance at life! No matter what you may try and tell yourself (maybe we’ll get back together, he/she was just confused, we are made for each other), you’re now single, and for a very good reason. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you’re not loved like you should be?
Just remember, you are so loveable and wonderful. Remember who you were before your ex-relationship? Try and find that person again… make sure you learn to love yourself again before you go looking for love once again.
There are nearly 7 BILLION people in this world, and it didn’t work out with ONE person. It may seem like the end of life itself, but it really is another chance to find love! Don’t jump into a relationship straight away…explore the world! Re-discover yourself, what you love and find a new hobby. There is so much more to life than a relationship, and sometimes a bad break up can remind us of this.
Things to do when you’re single
- - Travel the world. You have NO commitment to anyone, so why not jump on a plane for the weekend, or even a year?! Go live in a foreign country and immerse yourself in a new way of life.
- - Choose a new hobby. Did you ever stop doing something because your ex didn’t like the thought of it? Whether it was fishing or writing, go do it! Reignite your passion for everything you loved before you were in a relationship.
- - Jump on Tinder. Now this is something I vowed never to do, but my God is it fun! Sure, you get the occasional creeper, but overall there are actually quite a few people on there looking for genuine friendships and to meet new people.
- - Fall in love with yourself. Learn to love every inch of your body, and truly appreciate who you are. Someone has loved you before, and you will be loved again. Wake up every morning, and tell yourself that you look banging!
- - Your body is your temple. Start exercising and eating right! Meditate, go to yoga and participate in that crazy half marathon you’ve always been aching to go in. The more care you give your body, the more you will love yourself and the more other people will love you.
- - Discover new friends. Sometimes in a toxic relationship we feel threatened to even talk to the other sex, which can really have a detrimental effect on our friendships. Reignite old friendships and start stepping out of your comfort zone for new friends. Be yourself and people will love you, I promise.